from tumblr : rememberdecember
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
i.don.t.know.why. i feel so blue
i.don't.know.why.
yes, that's the most often sentence i said lately. and i feel blue, too.
i don't know why it's hard to love someone, even if we says that we love him. but sometimes it'snot true, is it? yes you know mekos and padessey and they just get out from my mind and I DON'T KNOW WHY.
babull told mesomeone likes me and i think that's such a lie. sorry bul, can't trust you. but really it makes me curious. and IDKWHY. and i'm going to write a short story that i still don't know what i must write about.
and i fall in love with this lyrics, "when i think of love, i just think of you... i said i want you, want you to be my boy...."
that's the chorus from the song THINK OF LOVE by Risin Black Hole. but i changed the part "want you to be my wife" became "want you to be my boy" :D
and i'm searching for someone to make me in love and feels very bad stomachache and gives me heart attack haha!
and now i decided not to like anyone, it's the best for me isn't it? besides, if i like someone they broke my heart either. i got jealous today because i saw mekos with a girl and that "jealousy" feelings didn't stay any longer. which means, i'm NOT INTO HIM.
I NEED A BOYFRIEND! URGENTLY NEEDED!!!! LMAO
yes, that's the most often sentence i said lately. and i feel blue, too.
i don't know why it's hard to love someone, even if we says that we love him. but sometimes it'snot true, is it? yes you know mekos and padessey and they just get out from my mind and I DON'T KNOW WHY.
babull told me
and i fall in love with this lyrics, "when i think of love, i just think of you... i said i want you, want you to be my boy...."
that's the chorus from the song THINK OF LOVE by Risin Black Hole. but i changed the part "want you to be my wife" became "want you to be my boy" :D
and i'm searching for someone to make me in love and feels very bad stomachache and gives me heart attack haha!
and now i decided not to like anyone, it's the best for me isn't it? besides, if i like someone they broke my heart either. i got jealous today because i saw mekos with a girl and that "jealousy" feelings didn't stay any longer. which means, i'm NOT INTO HIM.
I NEED A BOYFRIEND! URGENTLY NEEDED!!!! LMAO
i need someone to protect me,
need someone to texts me short messages
need someone to hold my hand and say,
I LOVE YOU
need someone to say he wants me from the bottom of his heart
need someone to kiss me on the cheek and,
whispers, I LOVE YOU in my ear and
makes me look so naive
need someone to support me and
need someone to be next to me all the time
Saturday, November 07, 2009
B-party
hell-ow guys, long time no post and do you miss me? of course you....don't. haha.
it's gonna be so lame if i tell you how's my birthday party going last month. but i promised you before, didn't i? first thing that you must know that i celebrated my bparty with suddenly.
jadi gue emang bener2 mendadak, 2 minggu sebelomnya gue bilang di taman sari, gak lama gue bilang di rumah terus di pizza eh ujung2nya di telaga seafood -_-" yaudah kan pas tanggal 17 bener2 buru2, dekor dan blablablanya lah gue gak ngerti pokoknya jam 5 gue nyalon selesai setengah 7 sampe sana jam setengah 8 kan tuh, trs kok temen2 deket gue belom pada ada? yaudah gue telfon babul sm ais tp pada sibuk dan di REJECT! dan gue kesel disitu. terus tiba2 pas gue nengok ke belakang teman2ku membawa lilin berjumlah 14 dan mengucapkan "happy birthday" dan gue seneng tuh. yaudah deh makan2 segala macem terus main twister seruuu deh hehehe. ya adalah pokoknya twister memory ya huhu. i'll show you some photos
gue gak tau harus cerita apa, so i just post photos. and umm, today is my brother's birthday he's 29 or 30 idk hehe.
it's gonna be so lame if i tell you how's my birthday party going last month. but i promised you before, didn't i? first thing that you must know that i celebrated my bparty with suddenly.
jadi gue emang bener2 mendadak, 2 minggu sebelomnya gue bilang di taman sari, gak lama gue bilang di rumah terus di pizza eh ujung2nya di telaga seafood -_-" yaudah kan pas tanggal 17 bener2 buru2, dekor dan blablablanya lah gue gak ngerti pokoknya jam 5 gue nyalon selesai setengah 7 sampe sana jam setengah 8 kan tuh, trs kok temen2 deket gue belom pada ada? yaudah gue telfon babul sm ais tp pada sibuk dan di REJECT! dan gue kesel disitu. terus tiba2 pas gue nengok ke belakang teman2ku membawa lilin berjumlah 14 dan mengucapkan "happy birthday" dan gue seneng tuh. yaudah deh makan2 segala macem terus main twister seruuu deh hehehe. ya adalah pokoknya twister memory ya huhu. i'll show you some photos
gue gak tau harus cerita apa, so i just post photos. and umm, today is my brother's birthday he's 29 or 30 idk hehe.
Tags
experience,
fun,
once in a year
Sunday, October 25, 2009
untitled
blog, actually i have a lot of things to share. not just about my birthday party but there are others hehe so, i just want to write today.
gue gak tau kenapa hari ini gue cuma pengen diem. ya diem, you know silence is gold. jadi lately gue milih untuk diem dan gak macem2. karna gue takut kalo gue ngomong nanti salah jadi nimbul masalah deh -_- tapi jujur dengan diemnya gue ini, gue tambah belajar rasanya sabar. tp kadang gue pengen ngeluapin aja semua yg ada di pikiran gue, gue pengen teriak gue pengen semua tau gimana perasaan gue. dan gue jarang nangis akhir2 ini. ya good lah yaw.
you know that i got 100 for social test. ya, jadi kan gue dapet seratus, trs banyak yg gak trima lah. ya siapa sih yang mau nerima gue dapet 100? gue kan sedeng2 doang, maybe they think that i don't deserve it. but i think, i do deserve it. apa sih salahnya? ada saatnya kan orang dapet kesuksesan dia sendiri, dan ada saatnya juga org jatoh sejatoh2nya, tp kalo dia bisa memperbaiki dan sadar apa salahnya, dia pasti bakal sukses lagi. udah hukumnya kok. dan gue ngerasain itu walaupun gue masih pelajar kelas 3 smp.
terus, lovelife. hey tampan, i know u're cute and lot of girls like you and i know that it's hard to get you but please pay attention on me. i love your self confidence but sometimes gue pikir lo itu nyebelin, ya karna over confident lo itu. dan gue suka panas ya kalo lo deket2 sama si "itu" and just so you know aja ya gue kesel sm lo, lo bilang lo malu tp ujung2nya mainnya sm mereka juga. yaya terserah lo sih ya, gue sih fine. gue gak berhak ngatur2 karna gue bukan siapa2 lo, but emm... gue tau gue gak cantik gak langsing dan apalah itu, but i love myself the way i am! gue gak mau jadi siapa2, yg gue mau cuma jd gue. karna gue uniqe, gue smart(dikit), gue bisa ngambil hati org pake ke unikan gue. so, kalo lo emang gak suka sm barang unik, byebye! uniqe things are expensive looh haha. tp ya gue fine, apasih artinya gak ngedapetin lo? it doesnt matter to me, there are a lot of guys out there. and, i'm not that obsessed with you, besides it'll be better if you be my bestfriend :)
okay, next is mom and family. dalam 2 bulan ini gue udah nyoba jadi org ter calm sedunia buat ngadepin you, mom. but this is what i've got for being quiet? gue cuma dimarah2in doang. just so you know mom, i'm quiet because i want to hold my emotion. nanti kalo gue bales teriak malah jd nya ribut, so i chose to be quiet. walaupun gue ngomong juga gak bakalan ada yg ngedengerin kan? liat aja, gue ngomong sm bapak aja gak pernah. jarang bgt. bisa keitung pake jari kali berapa kali gue ngomong sm bapak dalem sebulan. gak lebih dr 10 kali. gue ngerasa kayak gak dianggap. dan gue mohon hargai gue, at least kalo gue dapet nilai bagus bangga kek, apa kek. thank you mom for taught me not to satisfied for anything. tp asal mama tau aja ya, karna ajaran itu makanya aku gak pernah puas sama apa2. but i know, we should feel satisfied.
and for this year, i get nothing from my family. gak ada yg ngasih kado. gue mau ini dan itu. dan gue mau banget banget banget. tp alhamdulillah gue udah bisa nahan kalo mau apa2. jadi, yaaa ngebantulah pokoknya. buat perubahan kecil2an, apalagi sekarang gue bisa nahan emosi. tapi mungkin karna kebiasaan selalu dikasih ini itu dr kecil, gue kalo minta ya maksa, gak dikasih ya ngambek. tp akhir2 ini kalo gue minta apa2 jarang dikasih. and i think, that sometimes, "what you want is not what you need".
i'm having many self problem that i cnt handle myself, so like i said, i chosen to be quiet. i never ask to be born and raised. but God sets that up. what can i do? from now on, i want to change, or i got nothing. i want to be clever, diligent, and i need to take care of my body. cewek mana sih yg mau gendut? and, satu2nya persiapan penting adalah persiapan buat UN. gue harap gue bisa ningkatin nilai2 gue, dan gue bisa masuk ke sma manapun yg gue mau. and i need it!i need to make everyone proud of me :))) and about boyfriend? idk, who knows? cinta bisa datang kapan saja hahaha.
gue gak tau kenapa hari ini gue cuma pengen diem. ya diem, you know silence is gold. jadi lately gue milih untuk diem dan gak macem2. karna gue takut kalo gue ngomong nanti salah jadi nimbul masalah deh -_- tapi jujur dengan diemnya gue ini, gue tambah belajar rasanya sabar. tp kadang gue pengen ngeluapin aja semua yg ada di pikiran gue, gue pengen teriak gue pengen semua tau gimana perasaan gue. dan gue jarang nangis akhir2 ini. ya good lah yaw.
you know that i got 100 for social test. ya, jadi kan gue dapet seratus, trs banyak yg gak trima lah. ya siapa sih yang mau nerima gue dapet 100? gue kan sedeng2 doang, maybe they think that i don't deserve it. but i think, i do deserve it. apa sih salahnya? ada saatnya kan orang dapet kesuksesan dia sendiri, dan ada saatnya juga org jatoh sejatoh2nya, tp kalo dia bisa memperbaiki dan sadar apa salahnya, dia pasti bakal sukses lagi. udah hukumnya kok. dan gue ngerasain itu walaupun gue masih pelajar kelas 3 smp.
terus, lovelife. hey tampan, i know u're cute and lot of girls like you and i know that it's hard to get you but please pay attention on me. i love your self confidence but sometimes gue pikir lo itu nyebelin, ya karna over confident lo itu. dan gue suka panas ya kalo lo deket2 sama si "itu" and just so you know aja ya gue kesel sm lo, lo bilang lo malu tp ujung2nya mainnya sm mereka juga. yaya terserah lo sih ya, gue sih fine. gue gak berhak ngatur2 karna gue bukan siapa2 lo, but emm... gue tau gue gak cantik gak langsing dan apalah itu, but i love myself the way i am! gue gak mau jadi siapa2, yg gue mau cuma jd gue. karna gue uniqe, gue smart(dikit), gue bisa ngambil hati org pake ke unikan gue. so, kalo lo emang gak suka sm barang unik, byebye! uniqe things are expensive looh haha. tp ya gue fine, apasih artinya gak ngedapetin lo? it doesnt matter to me, there are a lot of guys out there. and, i'm not that obsessed with you, besides it'll be better if you be my bestfriend :)
okay, next is mom and family. dalam 2 bulan ini gue udah nyoba jadi org ter calm sedunia buat ngadepin you, mom. but this is what i've got for being quiet? gue cuma dimarah2in doang. just so you know mom, i'm quiet because i want to hold my emotion. nanti kalo gue bales teriak malah jd nya ribut, so i chose to be quiet. walaupun gue ngomong juga gak bakalan ada yg ngedengerin kan? liat aja, gue ngomong sm bapak aja gak pernah. jarang bgt. bisa keitung pake jari kali berapa kali gue ngomong sm bapak dalem sebulan. gak lebih dr 10 kali. gue ngerasa kayak gak dianggap. dan gue mohon hargai gue, at least kalo gue dapet nilai bagus bangga kek, apa kek. thank you mom for taught me not to satisfied for anything. tp asal mama tau aja ya, karna ajaran itu makanya aku gak pernah puas sama apa2. but i know, we should feel satisfied.
and for this year, i get nothing from my family. gak ada yg ngasih kado. gue mau ini dan itu. dan gue mau banget banget banget. tp alhamdulillah gue udah bisa nahan kalo mau apa2. jadi, yaaa ngebantulah pokoknya. buat perubahan kecil2an, apalagi sekarang gue bisa nahan emosi. tapi mungkin karna kebiasaan selalu dikasih ini itu dr kecil, gue kalo minta ya maksa, gak dikasih ya ngambek. tp akhir2 ini kalo gue minta apa2 jarang dikasih. and i think, that sometimes, "what you want is not what you need".
i'm having many self problem that i cnt handle myself, so like i said, i chosen to be quiet. i never ask to be born and raised. but God sets that up. what can i do? from now on, i want to change, or i got nothing. i want to be clever, diligent, and i need to take care of my body. cewek mana sih yg mau gendut? and, satu2nya persiapan penting adalah persiapan buat UN. gue harap gue bisa ningkatin nilai2 gue, dan gue bisa masuk ke sma manapun yg gue mau. and i need it!i need to make everyone proud of me :))) and about boyfriend? idk, who knows? cinta bisa datang kapan saja hahaha.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
midtest results
bloooog, it hasn't been an hour but i update you. again hehe. so, what i'm gonna tell you is my known-midtest-results. so, i open http://ipskita.blogspot.com which is pak Margiya's blog, my social teacher. anddddd, you can see in the 9j row :
=====9 J / IPS--HANIFA HANUM N --100.00=====
wooohooooo!!!! can you believe that? i got my first 100 for social test, really. i'm not so good in social and i hate social so muccch! but i cnt believe that i got 100 :D pantesan, td kan gue nanya ke pak mar gt ya, "pak, yang gak lulus siapa?" kata pak mar, "9 j cuma satu orang, hanifa doang." HAAAH? gue udh takut aja kan tuh ya, tp yg gue pikirin adalah, "if fatur gets great score, then so do i." karna fatur nyontek sama gue ya. dan ini yang baru gue tau,
B. INDONESIA : 77.5
MATEMATIKA : 76
IPA : 75
OH MY GOOD! lo harus tau ya blog, pas gue nyocokin jawaban di dimensi score IPA gue seharusnya 90!!!! 90 YA 90! lo tau 90 sm 75 bedanya berapa jauuh? menurut nyokap 75 ataupun 76 dan angka yg depannya tujuh gak lulus kbm di mata dia. ya makanya gue mati2an belajarnya (apa nyonteknya?) dan gue gak nyangka math dapet 76! cuma dpt 76! kalo menurut gue sih the fuckin scanner itu tuh yang salah! gue pokoknya mau mnta priksa ulang!(kecuali ips haha). td aja kan pas pelajaran pak is(b.indo) dia ngasih soalnya lg ke kita suruh ngoreksi bareng2. dan hasil pemeriksaan scanner gue dapet 52.5 dan begitu manual gue dpt 77.5 berarti kan scannernya yg be'on. gue buletin udah dengan sempurna kok. ya pokoknya scannernya itu yg gggrrrrrrr~!
that's all i wanna share in this second post at night hehe i wish in the next post i can tell you about my oarty and the gifts :D
Tags
exam,
experience,
feelings,
fun,
study
regret and now i feel so blue
blog mau cerita yaaaa.... jadi kan dulu2 tuh ya gue suka cerita soal, "mr.Dfreaky" yaa pokoknya gt deh ya. gue pernah cerita gimana dia nemenin gue di trip gue ke thailand, sms-in gue dll. di tempat les pun dia gue anggep sebagai temen yang.... yang gt deh. bisa di liat di postingan yang ini : morgenlied yaa gue emang suka bgt bgt bgt sama dia mungkin sayang ye(kayak lagu rasa ini-_-) gue kira dia gak pernah suka sama gue. karna menurut gue, he's handsome, cute, romantic and he can get any women he wants.
tapi gue gak nyangka kemaren pas gue ngeramal lagi ke indah, gue nanya apa si mr.Dfreaky pernah suka sama gue, dan indah menganggukan kepalanya. dia nanya, "si D yg itu kan? yg KdJ?" iya kata gue, eh si indah bilang dia memang tampan haha terus gue langsung kaget gt kan ya. oh my god, seorang Dfreaky bisa suka sama gue? gimana gue gak kaget ya, setiap gue lagi sukanya sm dia, dia jadian sm cewek lain. jadi menurut gue emang dia gak pernah suka sm gue. oh please, i wish i could turn back time. lo pikir aja ya, gue hampir setahunan kenal sama dia dr tempat les, jadi ya kita agak deket gt lah ya, tp kenapa dia gak bilang aja sm gueee? indah bilang alesan dia suka sama gue sama kayak alesannya imam, karna gue bukan cewek yang "wajar" apa maksudnya? gue itu beda. dan gue pun ngamuk begitu tau itu, kenapa? karena kalo aja dia bilang gue pun akan bilang kalo gue suka sm dia. tp kata indah, "mungkin dulu kamu nunjukkin kalo kamu suka sm org lain" coba aja ya.... coba ajaaaaa..... dan kayaknya emang gue gak bisa deket lagi sama dia :'( lo semua pasti tau kan rasanya nyesel.
anddd another bad news that my mekos had gone... yes he had gone with a chicken. kenapa gue bilang chicken ya karna dia kayak ayam.ayam kampus haha pi chun(baca: pecun) sok british kan gue wkwk. and idk i cnt let him be with her, yeah ya know i cnt stand to see them loving each other. because he said, "gue gak begitu kepengen sama dianya." i guess something's push him. dnt knw wht it is.
anddddd gue gak tau sekarang harus ngapain karna gue bingung, pengen pacaran tapi takut gimana ya? gt deh ah -_- kayaknya gue gak bakal pacaran dulu deh, kata indah sih gt. yaudahlah, focus to study aja deh ya ck. eh lagi cr ol shop nih di fb yang jual neackle2 gt, atau accessories deh, sm sepatu yah hehehe. udahan dulu deh ya oh iya mau cerita soal party gue kemaren. but i'll tell you when i have my photos.
tapi gue gak nyangka kemaren pas gue ngeramal lagi ke indah, gue nanya apa si mr.Dfreaky pernah suka sama gue, dan indah menganggukan kepalanya. dia nanya, "si D yg itu kan? yg KdJ?" iya kata gue, eh si indah bilang dia memang tampan haha terus gue langsung kaget gt kan ya. oh my god, seorang Dfreaky bisa suka sama gue? gimana gue gak kaget ya, setiap gue lagi sukanya sm dia, dia jadian sm cewek lain. jadi menurut gue emang dia gak pernah suka sm gue. oh please, i wish i could turn back time. lo pikir aja ya, gue hampir setahunan kenal sama dia dr tempat les, jadi ya kita agak deket gt lah ya, tp kenapa dia gak bilang aja sm gueee? indah bilang alesan dia suka sama gue sama kayak alesannya imam, karna gue bukan cewek yang "wajar" apa maksudnya? gue itu beda. dan gue pun ngamuk begitu tau itu, kenapa? karena kalo aja dia bilang gue pun akan bilang kalo gue suka sm dia. tp kata indah, "mungkin dulu kamu nunjukkin kalo kamu suka sm org lain" coba aja ya.... coba ajaaaaa..... dan kayaknya emang gue gak bisa deket lagi sama dia :'( lo semua pasti tau kan rasanya nyesel.
anddd another bad news that my mekos had gone... yes he had gone with a chicken. kenapa gue bilang chicken ya karna dia kayak ayam.ayam kampus haha pi chun(baca: pecun) sok british kan gue wkwk. and idk i cnt let him be with her, yeah ya know i cnt stand to see them loving each other. because he said, "gue gak begitu kepengen sama dianya." i guess something's push him. dnt knw wht it is.
anddddd gue gak tau sekarang harus ngapain karna gue bingung, pengen pacaran tapi takut gimana ya? gt deh ah -_- kayaknya gue gak bakal pacaran dulu deh, kata indah sih gt. yaudahlah, focus to study aja deh ya ck. eh lagi cr ol shop nih di fb yang jual neackle2 gt, atau accessories deh, sm sepatu yah hehehe. udahan dulu deh ya oh iya mau cerita soal party gue kemaren. but i'll tell you when i have my photos.
Tags
feelings,
hurts,
love,
self problem
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